… but not for the obvious reasons of inanity and absurdity. Also in the article, Tamil movie influence, which supposedly makes people even more suicidal than Bollywood. I’d rather slit my wrists than watch HAHK again.
What’s the stupidest Hindi movie, ever?
via Craigslist:
I have a vintage 1973 Average Johnson which was manufactured by the Great American Penis (GAP—no affiliation with the similarly-named clothing stores) Corporation. I am able to supply documentation to support the age of this Johnson, though there is no visible JIN (Johnson Identification Number) on the organ itself; so, unfortunately, a CockFax® report will not be available to prospective drivers.
This Johnson has been maintained by a single owner, who has also been its primary driver. There have been three other drivers of this Johnson at various times, all of them within the past five years, and all of them female. (The most recent of these merely took it for a test drive, and although pleased with its performance, she elected not to continue with its use secondary to geographic concerns.) Each of these drivers has also been a passenger at some point, and they all expressed satisfaction in the ride of this Johnson. (Say what you like about women drivers, some of them are actually quite skilled in maneuvering an authentic Johnson, given that chance.) The original ragtop was displaced shortly after production; however, this Johnson can be (and has been) successfully fitted with a number of synthetic covers for protection from the elements as well as ride comfort and a variety of vaginodynamic effects. There are no other cosmetic defects; it is otherwise unmodified and has the typical dimensional variability one would expect from an Average Johnson. It retains its original color: Classic Caucasian Clearcoat. All things considered, this Johnson is actually in near-mint condition.
I am currently seeking to place this Johnson with another driver/passenger, preferably another female. Prior familiarity with this type of equipment is desired but not necessary, as I will be present for any test drives/rides and will be able to provide training and/or feedback, as necessary.
Note: Except for the lack of original cover, this is a stock Johnson and not technically a ‘hot rod’ (though the differences in appearance are minimal) and is therefore inappropriate for speed trials! Regardless, this Johnson has been well maintained is able to faithfully perform on a variety of terrain and under various environmental conditions.
I am able to supply photos of the owner with or without the Johnson for evaluation purposes, as I assume any prospective new driver(s)/rider(s) might wish to know more about the man who has taken care of this classic piece of equipment and how it has been maintained. Photos of the Average Johnson itself may be made available at the owner’s discretion.
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Dear respected member of Washington Mutual Bank,
Our department recorded a payment request from Expedia – Online Travel Agency ( EXPEDIA.COM ) to enable the charge of $ 619,49 on your account.
This amount is supposed to cover the cost of a 5 days reservation ( 10-14 November / 2004 )
at a Five Stars Hotel located in New Delhi / INDIA, under the name of GARY EDWARDS.
THE PAYMENT IS PENDING FOR THE MOMENT.
• If you made this reservation or if you just authorize this payment, please ignore or remove this email message. The transaction will be shown on your monthly statement as “Rama Bangalore-Hotel”.
• If you didn’t make this payment / reservation and would like to decline the $ 619,49 billing to your card,
please follow the link below to deny the payment:
**DECLINE** – javascript:OpenWin(‘http://64.4.56.250/cgi-bin/ linkrd?_lang=EN&lah=3202f45452441697f302e11034621277&lat= 1099923098&hm___action=http%253a%252f%252f66%252e206%252e6%252e228%252fReval%252dAn’);
(Click “DECLINE” button to stop this payment.)
We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, and appreciate your assistance in helping us maintain the integrity of the entire Washington Mutual, Inc. system.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Please do not reply to this mail. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered
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The Washington Mutual site immediately warns us of an ongoing scam. The javascript button links to revaltrading.com, which seems to be a legitimate business operation.
F%#$ Hotmail. While Yahoo! increased its free space to respond to Gmail’s challenge, hotmail is still dragging its ass after promising more space. Hotmail lusers, beware!
***update*** The day after I bitch about the free space, Hotmail increases it to 250MB. What gives?!
By now you’ve probably tried out Google’s new desktop search and oohed and aahed over the results. You might also have had a few unpleasant suprises when innocuous searches turned up cached emails that you composed days ago.
Contrary to what you might believe, this is not a good thing, especially if the tool is on your work/college computer. You can disable searching for emails by selecting the right options in ‘Desktop Preferences’.
I finally got a chance to go to the Renaissance Festival after 3 years. The RenFest, as it is usually called, is where Americans display their dubious anglo-saxon tradition by dressing up in 16th century garb and generally being as anachronistic as possible.
None of the fantasies are left out; pirates are on an equal footing with royalty; fairies and pixies cavort amongst ale wenches. The whole atmosphere is surreal and it seems like a county fair from the middle ages gone berserk with interlopers from the present.
The ‘actors’ participate with gusto and their roleplaying is un-self-conscious. They become the very characters they portray. This couple spent 15 minutes talking to us about the entire gypsy history of english monarchy in the first person.
Exciting events like the joust are recreated. Visitors can compete at roaring like a Scottish chieftain. Pirates are welcome to try their Arrrrs!!! with impunity. Most visitors can be found wandering with a plastic cup of beer and a huge piece of turkey. If only there were fewer visitors, the time-warp effect would be complete.
Burning Man – doesn’t mean a lot to most desis. An annual event held in the deserts of Nevada. Once each year, this festival becomes a meeting point to the weird and the absurd of America. People come from all over the country to participate.
And participate they do. Each person is a living, breathing piece of art. Amidst the various art installations, the creators walk, themselves an expression of what they create. Day and night lose meaning; Clothes[nsfw] are an afterthought; Sleep comes whenever, wherever. It’s a state of mind.
This is the escape they have been looking for. A few days in the desert, wandering, searching for nirvana. The rules of polite society are thrown to the wind. Some people visit Burning Man, and go back to their cafe lattes after a weekend – 3 days of freedom from consumerism. For some people, it’s Burning Man all the year. They are the flower children of the new millennium. For them, this is Woodstock, 200X. The line between sanity and insanity is erased.
At the end of the festival, The Man burns, a catharsis of a year filled with credit cards and monthly bills. The visitors are made anew, and there’s always next year.
(photos by Patrick Roddie @ webbery.com. Hips are beautiful [nsfw].)
The next morning, Belbo was radiant. “It works,”, he said, “It works better beyond anything we could have hoped for.”. He handed us the printout.
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The templars have something to do with everything
What follows is not true
Jesus was crucified under Pontius Pilate
The sage Omus founded the Rosy Cross in Egypt
There are cabalists in Provence
Who was married at the feast of Cana?
Minnie mouse is Mickey’s fiancee
It logically follows that
If
The druids venerated black virgins
Then
Simon Magus identifies Sophia as a prostitute of Tyre
Who was married at the feast of Cana?
The Merovingians proclaim themselves kings by divine right
The Templars have something to do with everything
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“Here is my interpretation,” Belbo said. ” Jesus was not crucified, and for that reason the Templars denied the Crucifix. The legend of Joseph of Arimathea covers a deeper truth: Jesus, not the Grail, landed in France, among the cabalists of Provence. Jesus is the metaphor of the King of the world, the true founder of the the Rosicrucians. And who landed with Jesus? His wife. In the Gospels why aren’t we told who was married at Cana? It was the wedding of Jesus, and it was a wedding that could not be discussed, because the bride was a public sinner, Mary Magdalene. That’s why, ever since, all the Illuminati from Simon Magus to Postel seek the principle of the eternal feminine in a brothel. And Jesus, meanwhile, was the founder of the royal line of France.”
– “Foucault’s Pendulum”, Umberto Eco
Refrigerator magnets, where we hope poetry would arise out of jumbled pieces of metal; Words we disassemble to fit the boxes of the crossword puzzle, meaning arises out of a seemingly random combination of symbols. If a million monkeys could produce Shakespeare, it would be worth to employ two million monkeys for two million minutes to produce another classic.
From the early Jewish hope of arriving at the meaning of Life by permutating the letters of the alphabet, to Radiohead lyrics that seem to point to something deeper, to movies to books, it all seems to be there, if we knew where to look.
Jon Stewart on O’Reilly!? [wonkette]
*mind implodes*
———— begin geekspeak ————-
So this morning I’m trying to run my code on Oracle’s 9iAS. I usually test on two browsers – Firefox and IE. Wonder of wonders, my page is displayed quite well on IE, but the CSS is lost in Firefox. I click the nifty javascript console in FF to see what’s happening. The message, is as useful as can be – ‘The stylesheet was not defined as mime type text/css , thus has not been loaded.’
This leads me on a wild chase through the internet trying to figure out how to enable text/css on 9iAS. After 4 hours of fiddling around with the .conf files, I give up. 9iAS, being the behemoth sphinx it is, refuses to yield its secrets to me.
Bored and with nothing else to do, I decide to install FireFox 1.0PR. After 4 minutes of installing, I start up the new FF.
Lo and behold, my page works! The culprits in this case were the transitional XHTML definitions in my DOCTYPE definitions. While FF 0.8 didn’t render CSS in transitional or strict XHTML, FF1.0PR does! Bravo to the mozdev community!
————– end geekspeak ——————-
If you didn’t understand a single word of that rave above, here’s a summary — GET FIREFOX. The spreadfirefox community has as its goal, 1 million downloads of FF1.0PR in 10 days.
Question: Why is FF > IE ?
Answers:
* Tabbed windows – no more 25 open IE windows in your taskbar
* Inline text searching / link searching – just type the words and the links are highlighted – forget the mouse
* Complete standards adherence – CSS, HTML – see geekspeak above
* Excellent pop-up blocking – I’ve only got two pop-ups in a whole year, and they’ve only started appearing of late
* Extensions for just about everything – adding links to text (bloggers take note), ad-blocking, mouse gestures, the list goes on
* It’s free!
Go ahead, give it a try. It’s not panacea – but it’s an alternative to the 80% stranglehold that IE holds over the browser market.
Every year, on September 5, Americans undertake their own pilgrimages – but these pilgrimages are not dedicated to gods or goddesses. No, these are pilgrimages to propitiate the all-american gods of vacationing, meat, and beer, though not necessarily in that order.
The details of the pilgrimages are the same. Waking up at ungodly hours to start for the trip, bleary-eyed baths, pre-departure checks on the gas range, heavy traffic on the highway all headed in the same direction, waiting in line at gas-station restrooms, checking in at the hotel and dragging your baggage through the carpeted corridors. I must admit that these details are considerably more simplified in America – no cold baths at 5:00 a.m. with a red plastic mug, no restrooms at all to wait for, no irumudis to bear on your head, and no litanies to repeat at the moment of departure.
We went on our own pilgrimage to Arkansas this year, which is pretty much the closest place to Kansas with any resemblance of natural beauty. And beautiful it was – tall semi-alpine trees all along the roads, low undulating hills covered with greenery, lakes and rivers all along the highway.
The highlight of the trip was our kayaking trip on the Caddo river. It was a glorious, exciting and tiring four hours of constant paddling. Almost at the end of the kayak trip, I spied a rope hanging above a dark pool of water. There was a branch of a tree that overhung the river and small wooden steps led to the top of the branch. You had to climb up the steps, grab hold of the rope, swing over the river, and jump. The catch was, you had to swing in a semi-circular arc, to land in water. If you swung straight, you had a large rock waiting to smash your bones below your feet.
I crossed the spot, changed my mind, paddled upstream to reach the spot again and dug my canoe in at the bank. I watched a brave boy swing and drop and come up gasping. It seemed exhilarating. But I changed my mind.
Later that week, I heard about a guy from my college drowning in Texas while doing a similar jump. The parallels were unmistakable. The incident raised a plea from Raapi, who enjoined us to remember our limits and responsibilities before trying anything for just ephemeral excitement.
But it is ephemeral excitement that has brought us into this world. It is ephemeral excitement that makes me feel alive, in my mind-numbing daily routine of melancholy and drudgery. One’s chanes of dying in a road accident are probably higher than dying in a freak drowning accident. Does this mean we should never drive again? Life is much more fun, when there are peaks and valleys, than when it is a straight, flat journey, much alike Kansas.
So RIP, PJ, for your zest for life. The rest of you, do something crazy. Your limits are defined only by people who have done it before and survived. Your responsibility is only to yourself.
